A Kenning for 'Her'

I
Bringer of Vibrancy
Carrier of Sorrow
Giver of beauty
Friend to Crows

Redeemer of hearts
Captivator of minds
Vessel of light
Magnet to kind

Knower of life
Faith-holder in creams
Seeker of truth
Believer in dreams

Lover of friendship
Waterfall of wonder
Bearer of magic
Embodiment of 'Her'.

II
Vibrant Bringer
Sorrow Carrier
Beauty Giver
Corvid Befriender

Heart Redeemer
Mind Captivator
Light Bearer
Kindred Caller

Life Knower
Potion Believer
Truth Seeker
Dream Follower

Friendship Lover
Wonder Casecader
Magic Bearer
Vital Embodier

Return of the Swifts

Tonight arching over the sky in acrobatical enjoyment the swifts returned. Their scymitter wings slice through the heavens - soaring - elated in the moment - living every second - never resting - the sleek sharks of the skies - piercing harbingers of summer - of life - of joy.
Forgive the flow of consciousness - my spirit rejoices in the return of the swifts!

Proud

Why nail my flag to the mast of outness when good friends and family know?
This week I had a friend tell me how she was bullied for being gay before she even knew. I have gone through, a pass straight, in the apartheid of sexuality. And yet so many of the remarkable, beautiful people I know in the LGBT community have suffered prejudice and hate. I am a consultant for a religious organisation - being out at work could very realistically mean my contract is 'regrettably' not renewed, but again my friend reminded me that at least now you wouldn't be sacked from most jobs as you would have done not so long ago.
I am lucky I have come out to understanding and approval - I generally wait until people know me well so that they get to know ME, rather than a preconceived, self fulfilling stereotype.The only place that has struggled to accept me as I am and not wish for me to change has been, expectedly but ironically, church. But I am proud to be part of this community of inspirational dynamic people - if you are proud of something it is one of the first things people know about you not the last. So expect to see me rainbow festooned marching head held high through the streets for Norwich Pride - inside I will be wishing I was less stereotypically dressed- but in a minor way - compared to the respect and pride I will have in my fellow journeyers marching on that queer pier of destiny!

Yearning

My spirit calls out
Across familiar landscapes
Reaching for its kind,
Seeking understanding-
being seen and known.
A cure for this alien ailment:
To be found and to find.

Sunlight on Snow

Promised winter sunlight shimmers-
quicker than thought it
Dances on the scarred surface-
Raw ridges softened by fresh predawn dusting,
Hardened by the night's sharp Haw.

Spotlights of caressed uniqueness
Impossible beacons within the dazzling glare.
Miragical beauty in the frozen desert-
Promise of carefully concealed treasures-
Truthes to emerge in thaw.

Poetry Group Homework

I am Vitality
Rejoicer in life - its essence
Spring's elixir rises - celebrating positivity.
Winged phoenix of trust - delighting in truth,
Platonically flawed like Athenian Cracies,
Elating in the journey,
Despite its inevitabilities.
I am "HER" - MacNeice's muse:
"Alive beyond question ...the dazzle on the sea"
The "fugue that keeps moving"
Vitality.


It was hard doing a declaration - it feels a bit too egotistical to be comfortable - but all the demure long winded eccentricities I brain stormed didn't really link to the nature of the project.
Just to clarify, I refer to the poet Louis MacNeice, Plato's Republic and BodyForm ("Con ali" used to be printed on the pack and it means with wings!! (as in con carne with meat) Bet you can hear the deep throaty roar of that Bodyform Advert soundtrack right now!?!?).

Primevera Picnics

My first picnic of the year was a joy, sitting in the grounds of Langley school, watching hockey enthroned on a deck chair with travelling rug, pouring cups of tea and snacking on baguette and short bread fingers. Shame the game wasn't as civilised!?!
Do you ever feel like you're in limbo waiting for the changes to come and the plans to arrive. In April my life changes completely yet here I am in March treading water?!? Even the weather seems a waiting game - but I have started the mowing the lawn, picnics and using the washing line - just yearning for consistently warmer days. Waiting to be able to say:
"The Sun is shining - I am gardening! Everything is right with the world!"

Confucian Enlightenment

I read a really interesting article by Grace Moon today about the right to rule - divine/ democratic/ conduct befitting. Are we really more advanced and civilised than 5,000 year old China? Read the article see what you think... www.velvetparkmedia.com/blogs/google-v-mandate-heaven
Here is how I responded:
I am always intrigued by Chinese women - such formidable matriarchs yet such an underclass in China. I never understand women's oppression anywhere - I think we are so formidable I pity the man who tries to cage us - but that leaves me to suspect that we are complicit in our own submission??!?? I often find women to be far more vehement in their sexism and gender expectations/enforcement - even lots of gay women... Straight women are almost always caustically hard on themselves and other women - whilst expecting so much less from a man??


I don't think that you can either fully understand, nor criticise from a superior position, a culture you are not within - there is so much poverty and human rights violations in both our countries - admittedly in a less in your face way - but that doesn't make us superior.
I think so much that happens in China politically is wrong - but Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina and inner city estates in the UK have taught me that there is a lot of dirt under our liberal democratic rugs - more than I ever imagined even as a cynical politics Graduate. We and our governments are ALL wrong. I remember something that Confucius said about learning from everybody - from their irritating or bad ways how not to be - from their good and admirable ways how to be - He said it with eloquence and brilliance. But I try to follow it - How we are is what will change others not what we say.

The North Wind Does Blow and We Shall Have...

The wind has blown strongly from the North in England and it has bought with it ice and snow, both a delight and a frustration. We are not geared up for any prolonged snowfall in England and schools close at the slightest opportunity - leaving me at home with very hyperactive children for most of the week. Wrapping up warm whilst taking brisk walks, sledge rides, making snowmen and having snowball fights are real winter joys, but a three year old with a chest infection precludes most of them for more than a few minutes. Even roaring log fires and steaming mugs of tea can dull in their delight when they are more of an essential then an indulgence. But the wind has brought with it flocks of field fares and redwings to bejewel the garden in exchange for the berries that they have devoured leaving the barest branches.