I'm trialing a SHAPEs course with my small group and this week we were looking at Heart - things you care about/enjoy/excite you etc. On hobbies - I realised my ebay habit of buying bargain Cath Kidston had probably got to large proportions of how I spend my spare time!?! Can ebay be a hobby? I really hope not - maybe it could make a bid to become an olympic sport like Chess. Normally I would put walking, gardening, art, films, reading, cycling and singing - well probably after socialising around tea and cake - but some hobbies are bound to include the sedantry. Anyway I am coming to the end of my escapism through chintz and now only mildly scan pedalled wares for the odd "essential" - which is good because my credit card bill came to day and it is way higher than expected because you can hazily forget the fact each item cost nearly as much in postage as it did in and of itself. As comfort techniques go I suppose it verges on the healthier of addictions - I have neither wrecked my kidneys or lungs nor have I put on any weight - I've also made friends - its like facebook but with pretty things that come in the post as a bonus!!??!
But as good for Karma goes - it has helped me feel happier in my house - but it hasn't even begin to tap the grieving over a lost very good friend - I miss her terribly but she is no better for my Karma than good old Cath Kidston - although maybe better for my fengshui.
To move on I have resorted to anger and condemnation - seeking to demonise the person I treasure and love to get over the hurt and loss - she is a wack job but she was my wack job. I wish her well - seeking to hold her in the positive energy that Quakers envision.
The stupid thing about buying nice things for my house to make it feel better is that I want to show her what I've done and how nice it is looking. I want her to be proud of me for single-handedly putting up shelves - I am woman hear me roar - as I like to proclaim. How do you move on from true friendship - even when it is bad for you - how do you healthily move on? So what I'm hoping for in October is less Kidston and more karma. And the people all said AMEN!